The 26/11 mania!

There’s so much talk about 26/11 – have we changed as a nation after a year? How prepared are we to face another such attack? – many more such questions are hurled at us by the media - especially by the electronic media. Many channels are working overtime, interviewing students and working professionals- in other words gearing up for the D-day 26th November. The way it is done one gets an impression of celebrating a festival that one has been eagerly looking forward to. Some have started rerunning all the available footage of the fateful day in their prime time programmes with eminent panelists analyzing the sequences threadbare. In all these attempts to replay in our minds the horrendous scenes of that day there seems a vulgar motive. Is the media trying to inform and educate the public so as to help us become more alert, more vigilant? Is the media suggesting to the government concrete measures to avoid or tackle such problems in future? Ideally, after all that had happened one would wish it were so – that our media, the fourth estate would act more responsibly instead of resorting to rhetoric and gimmicks almost amounting to vulgarity. But, unfortunately it is the same old story being played again and again. And mind you, tomorrow the 26th is going to be worse…from morning to night our media is going to feed us on this sickening diet all the time hoping for another such story that would give them yet another 62 hours of non-stop sensationalism. Justice Liberhan’s recommendations for the working of the media are quite relevant in this context. How is the media to be held responsible and accountable? What measures are in place to deal with irresponsible people (Liberhan’s choice of expression for this is yellow journalism) in the field of media? Will the media respond positively to the suggestions made or will it a turn a blind eye to them and continue to live in their ivory tower assuming that all is well with them?

Date with a Woman

Of late may mail box is filled with all kinds of mail….offers, loans, advice, tips on savings and what not! Some have also tried very hard to make me a millionaire. Successfully I have resisted the temptation or else I would have lost even the little that I have. Well..today I received an interesting mail from a friend that I thought I must share with you– on reading it I became very emotional…very nostalgic. Signs of old age? Perhaps! But the fact is, very often in life most of us realize the importance of people, even our dear ones only after they are gone. We just take them for granted when they are alive, one’s family, children and parents for example. The common excuse is ‘Where is the time?’ But sadly, when the time may come it may be a little too late. Wouldn’t our life be more meaningful and joyful if we spent a little more time, a little more thought, a little more attention when it is needed…? Read on…


After 21 years of marriage, my wife wanted me to take another woman out to
dinner and a movie.. She said I love you but I know this other woman loves you too and would love to spend some time with you. The other woman that my wife wanted me to visit was my MOTHER, who has been a widow for 19 years, but the demands of my work and my three children had made it possible to visit her only occasionally. That night I called to invite her to go out for dinner and a movie. 'What's wrong, are you well?,' she asked. My mother is the type of woman who suspects that a late night call or a surprise invitation is a sign of bad news. 'I thought that it would be pleasant to be with you,' I responded. 'Just the two of us.’ She thought about it for a moment, and then said, 'I would like that very much...'That Friday after work, as I drove over to pick her up I was a bit nervous. When I arrived at her house, I noticed that she, too, seemed to be nervous about our date. She waited in the door with her coat on.. She had curled her hair and was wearing the dress that she had worn to celebrate her last wedding anniversary.

She smiled from a face that was as radiant as an angel's.

'I told my friends that I was going to go out with my son, and they were impressed,'she said, as she got into the car. 'They can't wait to hear about our meeting'. We went to a restaurant that, although not elegant, was very nice and cozy. My mother took my arm as if she were the First Lady. After we sat down, I had to read the menu. Large print.Half way through the entries, I lifted my eyes and saw Mom sitting there staring at me: a nostalgic smile was on her lips. 'It was I who used to have to read the menu when you were small,' she said. 'Then it's time that you relax and let me return the favor,' I responded. During the dinner, we had an agreeable conversation - nothing extraordinary, but catching up on recent events of each other's life. We talked so much that we missed the movie. As we arrived at her house later, she said, 'I'll go out with you again, but only if you let me invite you.' I agreed. 'How was your dinner date?' asked my wife when I got home. 'Very nice.Much more so than I could have imagined,' I answered. A few days later, my mother died of a massive heart attack. It happened so suddenly that I didn't have time to do anything for her.

Some time later, I received an envelope with a copy of a restaurant receipt from the same place mother and I had dined. An attached note said: 'I paid this bill in advance. I wasn't sure that I could be there; but nevertheless, I paid for two plates - one for you and the other for your wife. You will never know what that night meant for me. I love you, son.' At that moment, I understood the importance of saying in time: 'I LOVE YOU! and to give our loved ones the time that they deserve. Give them the time they deserve, because these things cannot be put off till 'some other time.'

How Much Does One Need?

Is there a limit to one’s needs or wants? I know it’s an age old question that has never been answered convincingly. The recent controversies involving Sashi Tharoor and our Indian CEOs have made me revisit the much explored realm one more time. I must admit I had high regards for Tharoor as an intellectual, as a writer and as an individual till a few months ago. Frankly not any more… In the first issue relating to his stay in a luxury hotel I thought his response was utterly ridiculous and extremely irresponsible. In the second issue, too as regards his ‘cattle class’ remarks, sadly his years of experience as a diplomat failed him miserably. Well, this is one section –a highly educated group of our nation leading us from the political front. There is another such group on the business front already rich, filthy rich If I may add, and yet wanting more and more, so much so their salaries and their demands for more are labeled vulgar. We are a nation of sharp contrasts: on one side there is abject poverty and on other there is vulgar display of opulence. In the list of the world’s richest people India stands fourth and yet it is in our own country that we see so much deprivation. How are we to bridge this gap? At what point of time in one’s life does ‘more’ has no more value? I’m reminded of Tolstoy’s Pahom in How Much Land Does a Man need?

Inspiring students!

Students are a great source of inspiration….sometimes in the classroom but most of the time outside of it. Within the walls of classrooms not many volunteer to express themselves, but outside everyone wants to have a go at everything.

Got a mail from an old student today who took me back some years in the past…this one was different…. this was one who did a lot of talking in class. He says,

“Firstly, I do hope that you remember me… This is Jonathan Thomas from the graduating class of 2005(PSEng)…You used to lead the discourse on Mahatma Gandhi in the final year and Dr Faustus in the 2nd year. I was the opinionated guy with anti-Gandhian sentiments... Our debates in class were notorious…I wanted to thank you for not curbing, or in any way try to curtail my personal expressions…
My friends and I still do fondly remember your classes and all the fun learning … Thank you for your sincerity and dedication to the English Language… You'll be happy to learn that I have been working with JP Morgan Chase for the past 3 years…I was recently promoted to Head the Communications Department for North America's Human Resources…Luckily at work they like opinionated and passionate people…”

Thank you Jonathan for your kind words. As a teacher I think I have merely given you the space that you needed and the platform to discover and to know yourself. You must know I don’t believe in curbing or curtailing one’s expressions. I’m glad you are doing well in life and feeling happy doing what you are doing. Kudos to you and a whole lot of other students who are doing the same.

An enriching experience!

The academic rigor at Christ University is always intense, even during vacation - many of us even during holidays are at the university involved in activities relating to academics. This year was no exception. But there was a change -a refreshing one, too. The opportunity to mingle with different cultures in an international conference, to enjoy and be throughly overwhelmed by the warmth and hospitality of peoples from 13 asian countries was welcome and greatly put to use; I was amazed at the stupendous growth of a constitutional monarchy with its unbridled reverence for the royalty, a democracy and an economy suddenly but steadily on the rise, a calm, mostly a peace-loving society called Thailand. A week long sojurn at the Assumption University, Bangkok offered a variety of experiences. Here's a brief visual glimpse of my experience....i shall describe my experiences soon.

Another kind of Love!!!

Could there be anything more horrifying? How could parents be so cruel,absolutely insensitive to their own children's feelings? Last year around the same time Josef Fritzl of Austria, a sick father, was arrested on several charges including rape of his own daughter for 24 long years. The verdict is out today, thankfully. Josef will spend his remaining years in prison. A businessman in India, from Mumbai to be precise has been arrested today on similar charges - sexually abusing his daughter for 9 long years, and all for what - getting rich! -apparently a tantrik had recommended this horrible route to the greedy father. I'm sure there are many more Fritzels in hiding- and may be someday their masks too will be removed - Sick psychopaths in the guise of parents. At a time when the whole world is feeling terrible with the revelation and magnitude of such horrendous stories a friend of mine sent me this story of love - love of a father for his son, a disabled son, a moving story indeed. It is heartening to see what parents will do, to what extent they will go just to make their children happy. Wish we had more of this tribe. Here's the story...

One day, a son asks his dad "Daddy, would you like to run a marathon with me?”
The father says "yes".
And they run their first marathon together.


Another time, the son asks his dad again "Daddy, would you like to run a marathon with me?”
The father says "yes son".

One day, the son asks his father " Daddy, would you run the Ironman with me?"
The Ironman is the most difficult triathlon ever (4 kms swimming, 180 kms bikin, 42 km running?)

And the dad says "yes".
The story looks simple until you watch the following clip.
Just amazing, how much can love be..... ?

Go to this link and watch the video.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VJMbk9dtpdy

Slumdogs or Dumbdogs?

The Oscar fever is subsiding (!!!????) ….Is India flying high as Anil Kapoor screamed into the microphone? May be, if not all at least a quarter of its population is. Yes…Slumdog Millionaire has won eight Oscars…a few Indians have won Oscars too!! As Indians we should feel proud about it. Not because they have won the Oscars per se but because they and their work have been recognized by an entertainment agency considered supreme (rightly or wrongly) in the world. The President and the Prime Minister of India have congratulated the winners…more politicians will follow suit, may be with cash awards too. Political compulsions perhaps! I have nothing to lose and I will be very forthright therefore. As I watched the ‘tamasha’ on TV, the mockery of the slum dogs and the dumb dogs came to light. I’m sure even the diehard fans of Rehman or Gulzaar or Pookutty would agree to the fact that these men have created better works than this. Why the Oscars now, then? The irony is we need the British or the foreign label for recognition. Unless and until a foreign body, preferably from the west certifies our works we cannot and will not believe in ourselves. Sad but true. But for Danny Boyle and his crew our work would perhaps have seen no light let alone the Oscar limelight. Isn’t it sad that we still have to rely on the white man or the English voice to be able to ‘succeed’? Secondly, for the white audience the voice of their m(a)en is more authentic and more credible than that of the native –he knows and understands better the cruelty and the poverty of the slums in India …..he can capture it all, with all its myriad hues in no time, too because he comes from a land that ‘knows’ India…How ridiculous…. haven’t we made films on the same theme earlier which more poignantly told the story of the slums… haven’t we heard before better songs of Rehman than Jaiho? I have and Of course we have. But without a Danny Boyle and his men, you see!! So who cares? So is the Oscar something that we must feel proud of or is it something that should make us feel if not ashamed at least a bit uneasy? I don’t know. But I think it should definitely make us think.

The Mangalore episode

Yet another controversy has surfaced in Karnataka and it is quickly doing the rounds in other states as well - yes, to drink or not to drink, or to be more precise, should Indian girls drink (alcohol, of course) and if they do wouldn’t that be going against Indian culture? We were a witness to hours of debate on almost all TV channels with no mutually agreeable solutions in sight. Simply because the issue at hand is as complex as the term culture itself. To further get into what constitutes or should constitute or would constitute Indian culture is altogether another horribly tiring complex process. It is quite evident from all that has been written / discussed / shown / seen that each one has an agenda – the group that attacked the girls, the victims, the government and of course our media. The group in question claims that it is their ‘moral duty’ to clean up the ‘mess’ (and they sure know what that means), the ‘attacked’ believe in their right to freedom in a democracy (and they sure know what freedom means), the government proclaims that it has a moral and legal duty to establish a safe and secure (if not secular) society (they sure know what their responsibilities are) and the media relentlessly running their own trials and giving out fast verdicts faster than our fast track courts and mind you they very well know what their job is. (At times however I feel some of them are in the wrong job sitting in the studio instead of in the courtroom). Who is ‘right or wrong’ here? One says drinking is not Indian culture; another says hurting women is not Indian culture. ‘Who gave you the right to moral policing’, asks the media and the group in question retorts ‘who should’? Did anyone give the right to Mahatma Gandhi to fight? Did Nelson Mandela seek permission from the government to revolt? Although these questions seem logical they are also specious, as answers to each of these would depend on one’s own subject(ive) position. For this very reason getting into discussing the semantics of culture or for that matter Indian culture or who is right or wrong in this context would be a futile exercise. Instead let us look at the implications of this growing addiction to drinking, especially among the youth. There’s no denying the fact alcohol in someway is related to crimes. Statistics / research proves it. Let us look at the increase in crime rates, drunken driving and consider ways and means to control this menace. Alcoholism among the youth is a serious problem today in all metros and especially in a city like Bangalore. No parent wants his or her ward to take to alcohol including the ones that drink. When they can’t control or discipline their wards any more they resort to justification and right to personal freedom in an attempt to hide their helplessness. Let us answer honestly to ourselves if what is happening today is an encouraging trend. Should we ape the west blindly in the pretext of individual freedom? As regards many social issues the west is regretting now. Must we commit the same mistakes in order to learn?

Lessons to learn

For the past few weeks or so there’s been hectic activities in the ‘blogosphere’ – comments and views of all sorts condemning terrorism have filled the cyberspace. On television almost all National leaders, bureaucrats, politicians, media, police, and public (have I left out anyone?) – everybody has been criticized right, left and center. Emotions were running so high that many were clueless of the implications of their statements. In this entire melee I chose to be a silent spectator, observe the drama unfold. I did not want to fall into the same trap many had already fallen into- reacting extremely emotionally to the horrors witnessed on television screens. The pictures shown on TV would have certainly hurt many an Indian’s sensibilities. I was angry too. But events that followed made me angrier; compelled me to think of our behavior, as a nation. Forget Pakistan for a moment and its unhealthy obsession with terror – What are we going to learn from all this? Almost for 60 hours on the television screens there was nothing else but provocative statements, accusations, acrimonious outbursts- the mood of war-like jingoism was both in the air and on the air. To make things worse, some politicians generally neglected by the media (for reasons best known to them) made news by their silly, inept and outrageous comments. The unfortunate ones among them were stripped of their positions and the lucky ones were let off with a ‘strict warning’. A crash course in communication skills is perhaps something that many of our politicians require so badly. They must be taught a lesson or two in diplomacy especially while giving their ‘invaluable’ opinions during such crises. As for the public, reining in emotions at such moments, though difficult will certainly be useful. Above all the media must refrain from insinuations, instigation, crassly commercializing and sensationalizing such events with a view to enhancing their ratings – which I think was practised to perfection by almost all TV channels in India. Definitely we as a nation have to learn a few (or many?) lessons.