Date with a Woman

Of late may mail box is filled with all kinds of mail….offers, loans, advice, tips on savings and what not! Some have also tried very hard to make me a millionaire. Successfully I have resisted the temptation or else I would have lost even the little that I have. Well..today I received an interesting mail from a friend that I thought I must share with you– on reading it I became very emotional…very nostalgic. Signs of old age? Perhaps! But the fact is, very often in life most of us realize the importance of people, even our dear ones only after they are gone. We just take them for granted when they are alive, one’s family, children and parents for example. The common excuse is ‘Where is the time?’ But sadly, when the time may come it may be a little too late. Wouldn’t our life be more meaningful and joyful if we spent a little more time, a little more thought, a little more attention when it is needed…? Read on…


After 21 years of marriage, my wife wanted me to take another woman out to
dinner and a movie.. She said I love you but I know this other woman loves you too and would love to spend some time with you. The other woman that my wife wanted me to visit was my MOTHER, who has been a widow for 19 years, but the demands of my work and my three children had made it possible to visit her only occasionally. That night I called to invite her to go out for dinner and a movie. 'What's wrong, are you well?,' she asked. My mother is the type of woman who suspects that a late night call or a surprise invitation is a sign of bad news. 'I thought that it would be pleasant to be with you,' I responded. 'Just the two of us.’ She thought about it for a moment, and then said, 'I would like that very much...'That Friday after work, as I drove over to pick her up I was a bit nervous. When I arrived at her house, I noticed that she, too, seemed to be nervous about our date. She waited in the door with her coat on.. She had curled her hair and was wearing the dress that she had worn to celebrate her last wedding anniversary.

She smiled from a face that was as radiant as an angel's.

'I told my friends that I was going to go out with my son, and they were impressed,'she said, as she got into the car. 'They can't wait to hear about our meeting'. We went to a restaurant that, although not elegant, was very nice and cozy. My mother took my arm as if she were the First Lady. After we sat down, I had to read the menu. Large print.Half way through the entries, I lifted my eyes and saw Mom sitting there staring at me: a nostalgic smile was on her lips. 'It was I who used to have to read the menu when you were small,' she said. 'Then it's time that you relax and let me return the favor,' I responded. During the dinner, we had an agreeable conversation - nothing extraordinary, but catching up on recent events of each other's life. We talked so much that we missed the movie. As we arrived at her house later, she said, 'I'll go out with you again, but only if you let me invite you.' I agreed. 'How was your dinner date?' asked my wife when I got home. 'Very nice.Much more so than I could have imagined,' I answered. A few days later, my mother died of a massive heart attack. It happened so suddenly that I didn't have time to do anything for her.

Some time later, I received an envelope with a copy of a restaurant receipt from the same place mother and I had dined. An attached note said: 'I paid this bill in advance. I wasn't sure that I could be there; but nevertheless, I paid for two plates - one for you and the other for your wife. You will never know what that night meant for me. I love you, son.' At that moment, I understood the importance of saying in time: 'I LOVE YOU! and to give our loved ones the time that they deserve. Give them the time they deserve, because these things cannot be put off till 'some other time.'

How Much Does One Need?

Is there a limit to one’s needs or wants? I know it’s an age old question that has never been answered convincingly. The recent controversies involving Sashi Tharoor and our Indian CEOs have made me revisit the much explored realm one more time. I must admit I had high regards for Tharoor as an intellectual, as a writer and as an individual till a few months ago. Frankly not any more… In the first issue relating to his stay in a luxury hotel I thought his response was utterly ridiculous and extremely irresponsible. In the second issue, too as regards his ‘cattle class’ remarks, sadly his years of experience as a diplomat failed him miserably. Well, this is one section –a highly educated group of our nation leading us from the political front. There is another such group on the business front already rich, filthy rich If I may add, and yet wanting more and more, so much so their salaries and their demands for more are labeled vulgar. We are a nation of sharp contrasts: on one side there is abject poverty and on other there is vulgar display of opulence. In the list of the world’s richest people India stands fourth and yet it is in our own country that we see so much deprivation. How are we to bridge this gap? At what point of time in one’s life does ‘more’ has no more value? I’m reminded of Tolstoy’s Pahom in How Much Land Does a Man need?